Woke up this morning and had a dream that included one of my buddies whom I used to play football with. It wasn't just him though, there was alot of people and they were all chasing me. They couldn't bring me to the ground no matter how many people jumped on me and I remember looking my old friend in the face and saying "You can't tackle worth shit." This is the wierdest, most random dream I could of had at this point in my life considering I'm on track to stepping back on the field. This is what I've come to realize though. In order for me to succeed, I must work the hardest. I must be in the gym for that extra half hour, I have to get up an extra half hour early, I must clean my room and live in a clean space to give my head some room to roam.
I find myself getting lazy, slacking off. It'll start with the simplest thing, like sleeping in an extra half an hour and the next thing I know I'm half hour late for work, I'm dragging my feet all day looking forward to the end of the day. Sit down at the bar have a drink or two and order some wings when i should be at the gym. It's all connected, and I need to be the one who stays on top of myself. Self discipline is the most important thing, especially for myself. Making a comeback is hard, and I know it. It's going to be difficult. I'm going to be doing things that no regular football player would be doing but I'm not regular because I want to be the best there ever was, period. The first step is getting back into the game, and that takes time and hard effort. Self discipline is something I never learned as a child, I always ended up getting what I wanted. It's going to be a hard lesson to learn, and I need to recognize and fully understand that now. When the hard times come, I will be ready for them because I'll look back on THIS day, on THIS writing and say to myself that I knew this would come and I'm ready to say no. The next time someone offers me a drink I'll refuse.. the next time my buddies are smoking a joint I'm out. I'll be in the gym 5x a week, 1x per week at the talisman and 4x at Golds. Talisman will be purely plyometrics and sprints day where as Golds I have a set workout plan.
I've made these plans for myself before and failed. This is not the case with this plan. I've never been so set on achieving a goal in my life before; the daily journals, the dreams. A dream I've wanted since I was in Grade 10 I know that I will never be happy settling for anything less than the turf. This is my life, and I am in control. I always have been, and always will be. I just didn't see it before. I sat back accepting my poor existance. Jay Everson was right. Man I hate writing that sentence that guy and I go way back though and in the end he was right. I wasted 2 years of my life partying and smoking weed with nothing but memories to show for it in the long run. This is a new part of my life saying that I should have listened to the people that knew me best.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Nov 17 / 10
Daily Goals
Talk to THREE strangers. Transition using a cold read than tell a story
Head to the gym after work. baaaack and biceps day awww yeah. I'll take one day off my running to let my legs recover for leg day tomorrow.
Carry on a good conversation with at least 2 random customers that come up to my bar. Get them talking about what they do, find out if they own any dogs.
Talked to my first stranger downtown at the heated lamps, opened about how these were easily the best part of downtown calgary. Only ended up staying for a few second as my train came up just as I was finishing up. Stranger number 2 happened at Rundle Station, we made eye contact and I opened by telling her I couldn't feel my hands. I then said "Random story, but this morning..." and told her a story. Went well, she was laughing but her train came and she had to go. Strangers number 3 and 4 were Adams friend and I started a pretty funny conversation with them about our touques and about how they were Co Op Lifers. Goal?! Achieved!
I went to the gym and did Back and Biceps, it felt good. I took the day off running to prepare my legs for today but I honestly dont think I'm going to have time for the gym today. I might have to come home early and plan to go to the gym first thing in the morning tomorrow morning.
I didn't have very many strangers sit at my bar, but I did converse with everyone that did sit down (for the exception of Tim, hes a bit socially awkward). Ted sat down and we had a good conversation about who he was and where he's from. I didn't, however, find out if he had any dogs. The reason I'm going to do this is to prove to myself that I can lead the interaction to get what I want out of it.
My dreams have been really clear lately. Almost as if my head's in the right place so I can remember everything I dream about. This morning I woke up to remember myself approaching women in the club using Ozzie's material "I still cuddle with my teddy bear at night." I have a very strong feeling that the material in that book is going to be very successful and I'm fully planning on using it in the club atmosphere. I also know, being on page 65 of that book, that I must be louder in my interactions. Louder is power from what the book writes, and power attracts women. Ozzie states that he notices that girls giggle alot when he talks to them, its because they're seeking approval. The louder you are the more powerful you are, thus, people around you are going to want your approval. It also stresses the importance of a few other key points where I could find myself falling into the categories they described.
The entertainer. The guy who tells jokes, enticing stories for everyones approval. People can sense that I'm looking for approval so they give it and take it away as they see fit. This also does a major on my self confidence though, because the entertainer performs better when the audience loves him but when they don't his ego falls to pieces. I can relate with this one and say that its time for me to be myself. No holds barred, no approval from anyone needed... my genuine, authentic self. Looking at it in retrospect I'm loud, obnoxious and have a major Big Brother mentality. I pick on people, but feel bad afterwards so I instantly apoligize, than make another joke. I think these past couple months have been good as I've been trying to contain alot of my energy but realisitcally I think I need to learn to express that energy in different areas of my life instead of trying to contain it altogether. It seems that when I try to contain my energy I'm not being true to myself and I can sense that. When I'm not true to myself my body aches for approval from others for this person I'm trying to be when in reality, I'm not.
Yesterday was tough. I need to find a new job, which really sucks. I've grown to not mind the people I work with, they're pretty cool. I cannot make a living where 2 days in a row I take home 10 dollars. If I had a job at a bar downtown even 2, 3 times a week I'd take home closer to 100, 200 dollars which is alot more acceptable than 10. I felt bad yesterday, because I stopped at the Casino on the way home to see if I could turn my 10 into 100. Ended up being no dice and I walked home defeated. I hate that feeling, it sucks, and it wouldn't happen if I was staying on pace with my budget. Nonetheless. Also yesterday, I found thoughts creeping into my head that I'd never step on the Jr Field again while I was working out. I've been trying to figure out the root of those thoughts, as those could be seen as major setbacks. However I could also use that as self motivation and turn that around on myself. "Everyone thought you would never make it, yet here you are." That's not exactly the case, though. In fact, I have numerous friends and family that told me that I should be playing ball right now instead of wasting my life partying and smoking weed. Of course I laughed at them but I really should have been taking a backseat and listening to what they had to say. I was meant to play football, it's always been me. I keep looking at the television and watching movies and every day I read in the newspaper about someone who's getting paid to do something they love. Whether its the people in the story or the journalist who wrote it, passion is hard to come by these days and when one finds it, they should cling to it and work towards that passion like no tomorrow. I know I'll step on that field again, it's only a matter of time. I'm going to go look at the Colts website right now and check dates for Sunday workouts, actually.
Talk to THREE strangers. Transition using a cold read than tell a story
Head to the gym after work. baaaack and biceps day awww yeah. I'll take one day off my running to let my legs recover for leg day tomorrow.
Carry on a good conversation with at least 2 random customers that come up to my bar. Get them talking about what they do, find out if they own any dogs.
Talked to my first stranger downtown at the heated lamps, opened about how these were easily the best part of downtown calgary. Only ended up staying for a few second as my train came up just as I was finishing up. Stranger number 2 happened at Rundle Station, we made eye contact and I opened by telling her I couldn't feel my hands. I then said "Random story, but this morning..." and told her a story. Went well, she was laughing but her train came and she had to go. Strangers number 3 and 4 were Adams friend and I started a pretty funny conversation with them about our touques and about how they were Co Op Lifers. Goal?! Achieved!
I went to the gym and did Back and Biceps, it felt good. I took the day off running to prepare my legs for today but I honestly dont think I'm going to have time for the gym today. I might have to come home early and plan to go to the gym first thing in the morning tomorrow morning.
I didn't have very many strangers sit at my bar, but I did converse with everyone that did sit down (for the exception of Tim, hes a bit socially awkward). Ted sat down and we had a good conversation about who he was and where he's from. I didn't, however, find out if he had any dogs. The reason I'm going to do this is to prove to myself that I can lead the interaction to get what I want out of it.
My dreams have been really clear lately. Almost as if my head's in the right place so I can remember everything I dream about. This morning I woke up to remember myself approaching women in the club using Ozzie's material "I still cuddle with my teddy bear at night." I have a very strong feeling that the material in that book is going to be very successful and I'm fully planning on using it in the club atmosphere. I also know, being on page 65 of that book, that I must be louder in my interactions. Louder is power from what the book writes, and power attracts women. Ozzie states that he notices that girls giggle alot when he talks to them, its because they're seeking approval. The louder you are the more powerful you are, thus, people around you are going to want your approval. It also stresses the importance of a few other key points where I could find myself falling into the categories they described.
The entertainer. The guy who tells jokes, enticing stories for everyones approval. People can sense that I'm looking for approval so they give it and take it away as they see fit. This also does a major on my self confidence though, because the entertainer performs better when the audience loves him but when they don't his ego falls to pieces. I can relate with this one and say that its time for me to be myself. No holds barred, no approval from anyone needed... my genuine, authentic self. Looking at it in retrospect I'm loud, obnoxious and have a major Big Brother mentality. I pick on people, but feel bad afterwards so I instantly apoligize, than make another joke. I think these past couple months have been good as I've been trying to contain alot of my energy but realisitcally I think I need to learn to express that energy in different areas of my life instead of trying to contain it altogether. It seems that when I try to contain my energy I'm not being true to myself and I can sense that. When I'm not true to myself my body aches for approval from others for this person I'm trying to be when in reality, I'm not.
Yesterday was tough. I need to find a new job, which really sucks. I've grown to not mind the people I work with, they're pretty cool. I cannot make a living where 2 days in a row I take home 10 dollars. If I had a job at a bar downtown even 2, 3 times a week I'd take home closer to 100, 200 dollars which is alot more acceptable than 10. I felt bad yesterday, because I stopped at the Casino on the way home to see if I could turn my 10 into 100. Ended up being no dice and I walked home defeated. I hate that feeling, it sucks, and it wouldn't happen if I was staying on pace with my budget. Nonetheless. Also yesterday, I found thoughts creeping into my head that I'd never step on the Jr Field again while I was working out. I've been trying to figure out the root of those thoughts, as those could be seen as major setbacks. However I could also use that as self motivation and turn that around on myself. "Everyone thought you would never make it, yet here you are." That's not exactly the case, though. In fact, I have numerous friends and family that told me that I should be playing ball right now instead of wasting my life partying and smoking weed. Of course I laughed at them but I really should have been taking a backseat and listening to what they had to say. I was meant to play football, it's always been me. I keep looking at the television and watching movies and every day I read in the newspaper about someone who's getting paid to do something they love. Whether its the people in the story or the journalist who wrote it, passion is hard to come by these days and when one finds it, they should cling to it and work towards that passion like no tomorrow. I know I'll step on that field again, it's only a matter of time. I'm going to go look at the Colts website right now and check dates for Sunday workouts, actually.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Daily Journal
I had the craziest dream last night about K C. I had a dream I married her and regretted it the very first night I tried to go out. She told me that she couldn't go out because her throat was sore. I then looked at her closer and noticed all of her imperfections. K C, one of the most beautiful women I know. I looked at her without her makeup laying in my bed with her excuses; all of her flaws exposed. Looking at it now it almost seems like a message to myself that even the most beautiful of women have an ugly side waiting to rear it's head. I read recently that "No matter how beautiful a girl is, somewhere out there, there is a guy who is sick of her." Such a powerful statement, considering the way they make your heart race just by walking by you.
I want my goal today to be to focus on transitioning. What is the best way to transition? There's the ability to cut a story short, and say "Get this," than go into a story. There's the famous Cold Read, which can either turn into a story or get her talking. I think I'm going to work on my cold reading skills today and see where they're at and how much development I need with them. I'm going to make bold statements, such as "You look like the dangerous one." "You look like a good dancer." I feel Transitioning is definately one of the weaker parts of my game when it comes to hitting it home with the HB9's and HB10's . I find when I do have the ability to open I freeze up and am unable to transition into a DHV story or even the simplest cold read. I think the statement "You look like a good dancer" could easily transition into my story about Edmonton where Kevin ripped up the dance floor while stoned. I could then do alot of talking about how Edmonton isn't the smallest of my spectrum, that I've always wanted to travel than talk about my Vancouver plans this weekend. My goal is to be able to pull 9's and 10's numbers and home consistantly and in order to do that I must start approaching them. During the day, at night, all the time. Before I condition myself to approach 9's and 10's during the day I must first condition myself to approach and talk to anyone during the day. Lean over my shoulder and make a comment, talk to someone on the train. Even if I'm the only person doing all the talking, I'm developing my personal self by having the confidence and the ability to talk to strangers in every environment.
I was having serious issues yesterday, with two things. I really wanted to stop at the Casino on the way home aend when I got home and looked outside at the bong there was a moment where my mind talked to me and said "Do it, get high." It's pretty hard quitting gambling and weed, but I know that in the end it's for the best and that realistically there is nothing to be gained for the exception of momentary satisfaction from both. In the end, the long run, the gym is the best place for me to be. There is no where else where I feel more at home, where I'm more excited to be. Knowing I'm taking baby steps to becoming that person I wanna become is the best feeling in the world, there really isn't anything else I'd rather do than be a football player. It's funny because I always take the time to ask people "If you could be anything in the world with no chance of failure, what would you be?" They tell me their dreams and ambitions, and I listen with an open ear and closed mind. Most of them tell me they're on their way to becoming what they've always dreamt of, but you can't tell me that Johns dream was to be an accountant when he was a teenager. Most people are too afraid to say what they've always dreamt of being because they don't want to re - live the pain of the fact that they really are letting that dream die. Looking back I never took the time to ask myself; "If I could be anything in the world with no chance of failure, what would I be?" I know the answer. I'd be a football player, being paid to do what I love. So what am I going to do? I'm going to take baby steps, every day, to becoming that person I've always wanted to be. Not for anyone else, not to prove anyone wrong. To prove me right, that I deserve to be there, that I'm destined to play ball, that this is what I've always meant to be.
Every day I look at the television and I see people getting paid to do what they love. Perform for us on the field, on the poker tables, ripping it up in Monster Trucks. I don't want to be 40 years old drinking my woes away in the local pub telling people about how good of a football player I was only to justify the reason I'm not playing with my shoulder injury. People bounce back from injury all the time, it happens in sports. Since I first laid hands on a football in grade 10 I've always wanted to be a baller. It's time to take the nessisary steps to becoming that person I want to be.
I want my goal today to be to focus on transitioning. What is the best way to transition? There's the ability to cut a story short, and say "Get this," than go into a story. There's the famous Cold Read, which can either turn into a story or get her talking. I think I'm going to work on my cold reading skills today and see where they're at and how much development I need with them. I'm going to make bold statements, such as "You look like the dangerous one." "You look like a good dancer." I feel Transitioning is definately one of the weaker parts of my game when it comes to hitting it home with the HB9's and HB10's . I find when I do have the ability to open I freeze up and am unable to transition into a DHV story or even the simplest cold read. I think the statement "You look like a good dancer" could easily transition into my story about Edmonton where Kevin ripped up the dance floor while stoned. I could then do alot of talking about how Edmonton isn't the smallest of my spectrum, that I've always wanted to travel than talk about my Vancouver plans this weekend. My goal is to be able to pull 9's and 10's numbers and home consistantly and in order to do that I must start approaching them. During the day, at night, all the time. Before I condition myself to approach 9's and 10's during the day I must first condition myself to approach and talk to anyone during the day. Lean over my shoulder and make a comment, talk to someone on the train. Even if I'm the only person doing all the talking, I'm developing my personal self by having the confidence and the ability to talk to strangers in every environment.
I was having serious issues yesterday, with two things. I really wanted to stop at the Casino on the way home aend when I got home and looked outside at the bong there was a moment where my mind talked to me and said "Do it, get high." It's pretty hard quitting gambling and weed, but I know that in the end it's for the best and that realistically there is nothing to be gained for the exception of momentary satisfaction from both. In the end, the long run, the gym is the best place for me to be. There is no where else where I feel more at home, where I'm more excited to be. Knowing I'm taking baby steps to becoming that person I wanna become is the best feeling in the world, there really isn't anything else I'd rather do than be a football player. It's funny because I always take the time to ask people "If you could be anything in the world with no chance of failure, what would you be?" They tell me their dreams and ambitions, and I listen with an open ear and closed mind. Most of them tell me they're on their way to becoming what they've always dreamt of, but you can't tell me that Johns dream was to be an accountant when he was a teenager. Most people are too afraid to say what they've always dreamt of being because they don't want to re - live the pain of the fact that they really are letting that dream die. Looking back I never took the time to ask myself; "If I could be anything in the world with no chance of failure, what would I be?" I know the answer. I'd be a football player, being paid to do what I love. So what am I going to do? I'm going to take baby steps, every day, to becoming that person I've always wanted to be. Not for anyone else, not to prove anyone wrong. To prove me right, that I deserve to be there, that I'm destined to play ball, that this is what I've always meant to be.
Every day I look at the television and I see people getting paid to do what they love. Perform for us on the field, on the poker tables, ripping it up in Monster Trucks. I don't want to be 40 years old drinking my woes away in the local pub telling people about how good of a football player I was only to justify the reason I'm not playing with my shoulder injury. People bounce back from injury all the time, it happens in sports. Since I first laid hands on a football in grade 10 I've always wanted to be a baller. It's time to take the nessisary steps to becoming that person I want to be.
Daily Goals
Daily Goals:
Talk to TWO strangers, not at work, for at least 30 seconds. Tell them a story about something that just happened
Head to the gym right after work, Shoulders and Traps day
Get Brittany over to my house. Looking outside logistics aren't working in my favor at all. If Brittany doesn't come over, come home and write a journal on Chilltowns adventure Saturday night.
Reflect on these goals around 10pm w / o brittany here, 11 with brittany here.
Talked to two strangers yesterday, went fantastic. First one was at the train station I always go to every morning, I complimented how the weather sucked and she agreed, I told her she probably wasn't wearing the right footwear for the cold. I then got talking about how it would be fun to snowboard, and she laughed and agreed. I then proceeded to cold read her and say she looks like a skier, and she said I was right. I could have transitioned into the story of me in grade 9 when I went Skiing and pizza'd my way down the hill because I didn't know how to ski. The second stranger I talked to at the train station on the way home, he got talking about how his car was impounded and he didn't wanna drive it back. I tended to lean back and let him do most of the talking and I just lead the conversation. I realized today that I don't have to do most of the talking; once they realize that I'm not a threat they'll do most of the talking I just have to lead them in a direction. I noticed in Mystery's series The Pickup Artist at one point when Matt is day gaming, a point where he initiated a chat with a girl and she was interested, she turned slightly towards him for a second where he should have re initiated the chat but just as quickly as she turned to him, she turned away. He had less than a second to initiate a conversation with her and he didn't. I can pick up on these moments when I'm talking to people and I should be initiating when I sense one. Another thing I learned yesterday is my sence of humor goes through the roof when I deliever the lines with the straightest look on my face.
I headed to the gym right after I was done work to work on my Shoulders and Traps. I also ran for 10 minutes beforehand on my toes, my calves are killing me right now.
One of my goals that I notice I didnt get done is write a journal on Chilltown's adventure Saturday night. I've found myself slacking on my field reports lately; I'm not sure if it's because I don't understand the significance of them or if its the fact that I should be doing them right after the event so my head is the most clear it can possibly be. My new goal is to write a field report the next morning, every morning. I'm definately the best writer when I first wake up after a good shower, for sure. Finally found my element. I find I get distracted really easily when a shitload of my friends are on Facebook or Skype, it's very easy for me to get distracted from writing and I have no general motivation to do so.
As for the reflection, tonight when I come home I'll write a quick summary of my goals and proceed to write a full report tomorrow morning.
Talk to TWO strangers, not at work, for at least 30 seconds. Tell them a story about something that just happened
Head to the gym right after work, Shoulders and Traps day
Get Brittany over to my house. Looking outside logistics aren't working in my favor at all. If Brittany doesn't come over, come home and write a journal on Chilltowns adventure Saturday night.
Reflect on these goals around 10pm w / o brittany here, 11 with brittany here.
Talked to two strangers yesterday, went fantastic. First one was at the train station I always go to every morning, I complimented how the weather sucked and she agreed, I told her she probably wasn't wearing the right footwear for the cold. I then got talking about how it would be fun to snowboard, and she laughed and agreed. I then proceeded to cold read her and say she looks like a skier, and she said I was right. I could have transitioned into the story of me in grade 9 when I went Skiing and pizza'd my way down the hill because I didn't know how to ski. The second stranger I talked to at the train station on the way home, he got talking about how his car was impounded and he didn't wanna drive it back. I tended to lean back and let him do most of the talking and I just lead the conversation. I realized today that I don't have to do most of the talking; once they realize that I'm not a threat they'll do most of the talking I just have to lead them in a direction. I noticed in Mystery's series The Pickup Artist at one point when Matt is day gaming, a point where he initiated a chat with a girl and she was interested, she turned slightly towards him for a second where he should have re initiated the chat but just as quickly as she turned to him, she turned away. He had less than a second to initiate a conversation with her and he didn't. I can pick up on these moments when I'm talking to people and I should be initiating when I sense one. Another thing I learned yesterday is my sence of humor goes through the roof when I deliever the lines with the straightest look on my face.
I headed to the gym right after I was done work to work on my Shoulders and Traps. I also ran for 10 minutes beforehand on my toes, my calves are killing me right now.
One of my goals that I notice I didnt get done is write a journal on Chilltown's adventure Saturday night. I've found myself slacking on my field reports lately; I'm not sure if it's because I don't understand the significance of them or if its the fact that I should be doing them right after the event so my head is the most clear it can possibly be. My new goal is to write a field report the next morning, every morning. I'm definately the best writer when I first wake up after a good shower, for sure. Finally found my element. I find I get distracted really easily when a shitload of my friends are on Facebook or Skype, it's very easy for me to get distracted from writing and I have no general motivation to do so.
As for the reflection, tonight when I come home I'll write a quick summary of my goals and proceed to write a full report tomorrow morning.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Afraid of Success
Afraid of success
It's part of an active lifestyle. Going to the gym, being in shape. It's hard to stay motivated when you're not really working towards anything except the way you look tomorrow. What if you could just push a little harder when you go to the gym and push more often in a routine in order to achieve maximum results. Because why wouldn't you want maximum results? When's the last time you wrote a test but only did 60% of it. Why wouldn't you wanna stay in the gym for that little bit longer to work towards something? If I were to get myself in shape, running, abs, lower back, legs... I could easily play football, and I know it. Looking at my old pictures I kinda looked and was like man... I used to be really in shape back then.
WHAT WAS I DOING?!
I was outside running with a parachute, I was working out EVERY NIGHT, I was working out in front of girls, I was the guy who RARELY smoked weed, once in awhile to lighten myself up. Now I'm the guy who's really stoned all the time instead of being at the gym EVERY NIGHT and living that active lifestyle I promised myself. Really! It's not that hard. I just have to work towards something. If I'm at the gym 5 nights a week, logically speaking, working out intensely to obtain maximum results than heading home afterwards to write, practice online game or even go out with Cam.. that makes my lifestyle active. I'll be more confident to everyone I talk to because I'll feel like I'm living my potential in my day to day life.
Realistically, in the end, it comes down to willpower. When one goes out and approaches, every day, he must first condition himself to approach. He has to fight his gut instinct that is telling him "No, don't do it." That same instance applies to me smoking weed. Every day when I wake up it's easy to tell myself that I'm going to go out and approach 10 sets today before I leave the house. Because logically, that is the best thing for me. The more sets that I approach the better I will be at the game. However when I'm in field I'm anxious, nervous, have anxiety but I overcome those obstacles and still manage to go out and approach. I feel that my game takes hits because I get A) Way too comfortable with where I'm at. I should be continuiously pushing myself forward making myself a better person. I know I have so much potential, that is why I'm an introvert lately. I keep on running, keep on trying to be a person who I'm not where if I passively game and actively live a lifestyle outside of pickup my results will increase tenfold. To have a passion to talk about! To ultimately have a commonality with my neighbour in the sence we're both pursuing something we really love.
I find every time I write these goals I end up quitting the same day, the next day, the next week. It's because I don't have any short term goals to match my long term goals. Writing it down right now, that I want to be a football player, yet not taking any of the nessisary steps to do so every day is a complete waste of time. However, looking at that statement "I want to be a football player." That is an intimidating statement all in its own. I know it's because I must write out my goal, and what it will take to accomplish, how it will affect my lifestyle and how it will make me feel.
Long Term Goal:
To play football, try out for Spring Camp when it comes around.
How will I accomplish this goal:
Working out 5 times per week. Goal setting every day and reflecting on those goals when I'm home. Not making plans Monday - Friday, unless it's late in the evening. Not justifying it with stupid reasons such as "I need to live an active lifestyle," or "I need to be more social." There's time to be social at work, that is when I should be talking. I must QUIT smoking weed. I will view it in the same sense as approaching women; the less weed I smoke the more effective I will be. The more women I approach the more effective I will be. Those two roads walk hand in hand, and I want to be as effective and efficient as possible. I must replace my bad habit with a good one. Every time I feel like smoking weed I will grab a peice of gum and clean. I feel if I have something to fall back on, something to do when the craving is there it'll make this proccess so much easier. Ultimately I'm at my fork in my road, this is do or die time. I took two years off but realistically, I'm 19. I have plenty of time to pursue the career that I want, to become the person I want to be. I'm still young, and that means that I have alot to learn and I will, in due time. It also means I should be reconnecting with people of the same commonality, I should be helping coach, going to games, surrounding myself with the environment once again.
How it will affect my lifestyle:
I'll be more active, it'll make my lifestyle way more attractive. I'll gain the confidence needed to deal with people in everyday situations. I'll be living my life with a purpose, making everything I do more fulfilling.
How it will make me feel:
On top of the world. Once I start this plan of action I'll know that I'm on my way to becoming that person I've always wanted to be. Once I write every morning about my life and where I want it to go and the present direction I'm headed in and realize that it's positive, and it's more positive every day, it'll make it so that I couldn't be happier.
Daily Goals:
Talk to one stranger NOT at work (on the train, at Tim Hortons, at Sunterra)
Go to the gym, run for 15 minutes, shoulder and trap day, stretch for 10 minutes
Go to the grocery store and buy the essential healthy foods to a good, balanced diet
Come home and reflect on these goals
Daily Reflection
Today I talked to a couple of strangers at the train station, two on separate occasions. One was at the train station on my way to work, girl was walking in front of me and I complimented her on her robin hood boots. It wasn't much but it was a step to talking to people in everyday senarios. The second stranger was the hottest girl I have ever talked to, period, and she was on the train headed to meet Brittany. Could have had a good conversation with her but didn't man up. Every day I make consicious decisions that slightly alter the course of my life. Every decision I make not to talk to someone, even the smallest, will lead me in a negative not a positive direction.
Headed to the gym with Brittany LaLonde, called me up and asked for a gym partner and I couldn't refuse. She was super hot the last time I saw her and I figured it'd be a really good idea. Vibed really well with her, getting used to the idea of hanging out with really hot girls. The game I have is excellerating at an alarming rate thanks to the influences I have in my everyday life. Not only that I feel I'm living with purpose now; I offically have a goal. My daily goal to go the gym was accomplished and it feels good to write it down and realize that I accomplished something.
The grocery store was closed by the time I got back, however I did spend my money on healthy food for tonight which I monged on, have some leftover in the fridge. I'm going to start taking two testosterone pills in the morning and one at night to achieve maximum results.
Daily reflection went fantastic, short and sweet on every goal and that's what matters. Going to go to bed, get as much sleep as possible before waking up tomorrow morning at 6:45 tomorrow.
It's part of an active lifestyle. Going to the gym, being in shape. It's hard to stay motivated when you're not really working towards anything except the way you look tomorrow. What if you could just push a little harder when you go to the gym and push more often in a routine in order to achieve maximum results. Because why wouldn't you want maximum results? When's the last time you wrote a test but only did 60% of it. Why wouldn't you wanna stay in the gym for that little bit longer to work towards something? If I were to get myself in shape, running, abs, lower back, legs... I could easily play football, and I know it. Looking at my old pictures I kinda looked and was like man... I used to be really in shape back then.
WHAT WAS I DOING?!
I was outside running with a parachute, I was working out EVERY NIGHT, I was working out in front of girls, I was the guy who RARELY smoked weed, once in awhile to lighten myself up. Now I'm the guy who's really stoned all the time instead of being at the gym EVERY NIGHT and living that active lifestyle I promised myself. Really! It's not that hard. I just have to work towards something. If I'm at the gym 5 nights a week, logically speaking, working out intensely to obtain maximum results than heading home afterwards to write, practice online game or even go out with Cam.. that makes my lifestyle active. I'll be more confident to everyone I talk to because I'll feel like I'm living my potential in my day to day life.
Realistically, in the end, it comes down to willpower. When one goes out and approaches, every day, he must first condition himself to approach. He has to fight his gut instinct that is telling him "No, don't do it." That same instance applies to me smoking weed. Every day when I wake up it's easy to tell myself that I'm going to go out and approach 10 sets today before I leave the house. Because logically, that is the best thing for me. The more sets that I approach the better I will be at the game. However when I'm in field I'm anxious, nervous, have anxiety but I overcome those obstacles and still manage to go out and approach. I feel that my game takes hits because I get A) Way too comfortable with where I'm at. I should be continuiously pushing myself forward making myself a better person. I know I have so much potential, that is why I'm an introvert lately. I keep on running, keep on trying to be a person who I'm not where if I passively game and actively live a lifestyle outside of pickup my results will increase tenfold. To have a passion to talk about! To ultimately have a commonality with my neighbour in the sence we're both pursuing something we really love.
I find every time I write these goals I end up quitting the same day, the next day, the next week. It's because I don't have any short term goals to match my long term goals. Writing it down right now, that I want to be a football player, yet not taking any of the nessisary steps to do so every day is a complete waste of time. However, looking at that statement "I want to be a football player." That is an intimidating statement all in its own. I know it's because I must write out my goal, and what it will take to accomplish, how it will affect my lifestyle and how it will make me feel.
Long Term Goal:
To play football, try out for Spring Camp when it comes around.
How will I accomplish this goal:
Working out 5 times per week. Goal setting every day and reflecting on those goals when I'm home. Not making plans Monday - Friday, unless it's late in the evening. Not justifying it with stupid reasons such as "I need to live an active lifestyle," or "I need to be more social." There's time to be social at work, that is when I should be talking. I must QUIT smoking weed. I will view it in the same sense as approaching women; the less weed I smoke the more effective I will be. The more women I approach the more effective I will be. Those two roads walk hand in hand, and I want to be as effective and efficient as possible. I must replace my bad habit with a good one. Every time I feel like smoking weed I will grab a peice of gum and clean. I feel if I have something to fall back on, something to do when the craving is there it'll make this proccess so much easier. Ultimately I'm at my fork in my road, this is do or die time. I took two years off but realistically, I'm 19. I have plenty of time to pursue the career that I want, to become the person I want to be. I'm still young, and that means that I have alot to learn and I will, in due time. It also means I should be reconnecting with people of the same commonality, I should be helping coach, going to games, surrounding myself with the environment once again.
How it will affect my lifestyle:
I'll be more active, it'll make my lifestyle way more attractive. I'll gain the confidence needed to deal with people in everyday situations. I'll be living my life with a purpose, making everything I do more fulfilling.
How it will make me feel:
On top of the world. Once I start this plan of action I'll know that I'm on my way to becoming that person I've always wanted to be. Once I write every morning about my life and where I want it to go and the present direction I'm headed in and realize that it's positive, and it's more positive every day, it'll make it so that I couldn't be happier.
Daily Goals:
Talk to one stranger NOT at work (on the train, at Tim Hortons, at Sunterra)
Go to the gym, run for 15 minutes, shoulder and trap day, stretch for 10 minutes
Go to the grocery store and buy the essential healthy foods to a good, balanced diet
Come home and reflect on these goals
Daily Reflection
Today I talked to a couple of strangers at the train station, two on separate occasions. One was at the train station on my way to work, girl was walking in front of me and I complimented her on her robin hood boots. It wasn't much but it was a step to talking to people in everyday senarios. The second stranger was the hottest girl I have ever talked to, period, and she was on the train headed to meet Brittany. Could have had a good conversation with her but didn't man up. Every day I make consicious decisions that slightly alter the course of my life. Every decision I make not to talk to someone, even the smallest, will lead me in a negative not a positive direction.
Headed to the gym with Brittany LaLonde, called me up and asked for a gym partner and I couldn't refuse. She was super hot the last time I saw her and I figured it'd be a really good idea. Vibed really well with her, getting used to the idea of hanging out with really hot girls. The game I have is excellerating at an alarming rate thanks to the influences I have in my everyday life. Not only that I feel I'm living with purpose now; I offically have a goal. My daily goal to go the gym was accomplished and it feels good to write it down and realize that I accomplished something.
The grocery store was closed by the time I got back, however I did spend my money on healthy food for tonight which I monged on, have some leftover in the fridge. I'm going to start taking two testosterone pills in the morning and one at night to achieve maximum results.
Daily reflection went fantastic, short and sweet on every goal and that's what matters. Going to go to bed, get as much sleep as possible before waking up tomorrow morning at 6:45 tomorrow.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Effective Time Management Day 2
Day 2
Today was a fantastic overall day. It started with a good morning at Tim Hortons when I went to work to realize my bagel was FUCKING DELICIOUS. I also worked with Sam that day who I've been gaming over the past month and I decided it would be fun to go to work with her to run some game. Throughout my past couple of weeks I've found that the most "on" my game I am is when I'm not thinking about it at all. I'm not censoring what's coming out of my mouth yet at the same time it's because I'm not thinking about what comes out of my mouth. I'm confident that I've internalized enough of the concepts of game that when I turn my AutoPilot on it flies itself. Sure there's some tweaks, some grinding gears that need to be maintained but the overall picture remains that as long as you say whatever comes to your mind without censoring it your life will be so much funner to live. Think of a world where you never had to think about a game solution because as soon as you opened your mouth you didn't have control over it anymore. The solution made itself throughout your words of wisdom which you were never wise enough to ponder.
This is the new philosophy. To say whatever comes to my mind, to game with no game but a very strong frame, very confident body language and very solid eye contact. To adopt the style of the game where one can truely be himself without a filter on his mouth which makes him more attractive. I want to be able to be my compete self in any situation and I believe this is the style of the game for me to try. I'm thinking about it and the best way to get out of this shell I've built for myself is to speak my inner most mind. I've grown to realize that realisitcally if you want to pick up a skill you can't keep running the same workout routine, your body will become accustomed to it and not be able to deal with it in other situations. For example, if I go out to the club every weekend and pick up girls and get really good at it, but all of a sudden get thrown into a double date with two hot girls with my buddy and I've never been on a double date before, how good am I going to do? Your skills in one area will gain moderate success in another, yes. However if you want to master a skill you must come at it from all angles.
My plan for this next little while is no game game. I'm going to "Free My Mind" in the sence that I'm not going to think about anything I say, I'm just going to let go and see what happens. I will write stories on what happens and I will tell them to people that I meet. It is said that there is two things one can do in life; one can write or one can do something worth writing. My plan is to do both, to gain the most experience out of this rollercoaster called life. Why? Because I'm high and rambling. Deep down though, I know it's because I want to be the best. At anything I do, I've always seen myself rise to the top only to sell myself short. Right now I am living everything I had ever imagined. I'm living a lifestyle filled with women and surrounded around having fun and having women and it could be better. All I have do is put in the work; the time, the effort to further improve my skills in this area. I've always managed to be the best and sell myself short... well what happens if I take that underdog mentality onto the field and push through until mastery. That is the ultimate goal and I am on my way. I want to understand the importance of this game I embrace within my own life and I think that only way of doing that is to write and read about my thoughts at that current moment in time. I want to be the best, it is my dream. Why wouldn't I? The best man always gets laid. Women will always fuck the best guy.
Effective time management is a successful project so far and I must carry on with it's positive results. Going into tomorrow, I'll be going to the gym for Back and Biceps day, I'll wake up at 7:45Am and shower, be out in the kitchen eating at 8. I'll be leaving around 8:30. to get to work around 9:15. I'll work until 6, get off and hang out with Allyson. I plan on closing tommorow night, and in order to do that I must make the date as fun as it was the first time and bounce her back to my place. Word.
Today was a fantastic overall day. It started with a good morning at Tim Hortons when I went to work to realize my bagel was FUCKING DELICIOUS. I also worked with Sam that day who I've been gaming over the past month and I decided it would be fun to go to work with her to run some game. Throughout my past couple of weeks I've found that the most "on" my game I am is when I'm not thinking about it at all. I'm not censoring what's coming out of my mouth yet at the same time it's because I'm not thinking about what comes out of my mouth. I'm confident that I've internalized enough of the concepts of game that when I turn my AutoPilot on it flies itself. Sure there's some tweaks, some grinding gears that need to be maintained but the overall picture remains that as long as you say whatever comes to your mind without censoring it your life will be so much funner to live. Think of a world where you never had to think about a game solution because as soon as you opened your mouth you didn't have control over it anymore. The solution made itself throughout your words of wisdom which you were never wise enough to ponder.
This is the new philosophy. To say whatever comes to my mind, to game with no game but a very strong frame, very confident body language and very solid eye contact. To adopt the style of the game where one can truely be himself without a filter on his mouth which makes him more attractive. I want to be able to be my compete self in any situation and I believe this is the style of the game for me to try. I'm thinking about it and the best way to get out of this shell I've built for myself is to speak my inner most mind. I've grown to realize that realisitcally if you want to pick up a skill you can't keep running the same workout routine, your body will become accustomed to it and not be able to deal with it in other situations. For example, if I go out to the club every weekend and pick up girls and get really good at it, but all of a sudden get thrown into a double date with two hot girls with my buddy and I've never been on a double date before, how good am I going to do? Your skills in one area will gain moderate success in another, yes. However if you want to master a skill you must come at it from all angles.
My plan for this next little while is no game game. I'm going to "Free My Mind" in the sence that I'm not going to think about anything I say, I'm just going to let go and see what happens. I will write stories on what happens and I will tell them to people that I meet. It is said that there is two things one can do in life; one can write or one can do something worth writing. My plan is to do both, to gain the most experience out of this rollercoaster called life. Why? Because I'm high and rambling. Deep down though, I know it's because I want to be the best. At anything I do, I've always seen myself rise to the top only to sell myself short. Right now I am living everything I had ever imagined. I'm living a lifestyle filled with women and surrounded around having fun and having women and it could be better. All I have do is put in the work; the time, the effort to further improve my skills in this area. I've always managed to be the best and sell myself short... well what happens if I take that underdog mentality onto the field and push through until mastery. That is the ultimate goal and I am on my way. I want to understand the importance of this game I embrace within my own life and I think that only way of doing that is to write and read about my thoughts at that current moment in time. I want to be the best, it is my dream. Why wouldn't I? The best man always gets laid. Women will always fuck the best guy.
Effective time management is a successful project so far and I must carry on with it's positive results. Going into tomorrow, I'll be going to the gym for Back and Biceps day, I'll wake up at 7:45Am and shower, be out in the kitchen eating at 8. I'll be leaving around 8:30. to get to work around 9:15. I'll work until 6, get off and hang out with Allyson. I plan on closing tommorow night, and in order to do that I must make the date as fun as it was the first time and bounce her back to my place. Word.
Monday, November 8, 2010
November 8 / 10
Effective time management. I've found my life being complicated by things which it shouldnt be. bad habits, irrational beliefs justified by ridiculious reasons which I had stoned into my brain. I recently caught onto my unconscious incompetence and promised myself I'd make it into a concious competence. This morning I woke up and wrote a list of goals for the day, how I would manage my time and the outcome of my time spent. This is my morning writing:
Effective time management
November 8 / 10
It is currently 8:22 AM. I went to bed at 10:30PM, giving me, effectively, until 7:00 to sleep for my full 8 hours including the time it takes to go to sleep. I set my alarm for 7, but I snoozed until 8am 10 minutes at a time. Analyzing the situation logically I wasted an entire hour of my day in bed when I didn't really need the sleep. My goal for tomorrow morning will be to wake up when my alarm goes off giving me my full 8 hours of sleep.
8:45 - 9:30 = Spent getting to work
9:30 - 5:30 = Working, earning my dollas. Effectively I shouldn't be searching to get off until around 5pm. This way I will increase the amount of tips I'm making simply by being there longer.
5:30 - 6 = Changing, walking to train station, getting to Golds Gym
6:15 - 7:30 = Working out at Golds, Leg day today
7:30 - 8 = Getting changed, walking to the train station
Arrive home at 8:30, come back and reflect on my plan for the day.
Always be thankful for what you have, not searching for what you don't. Be grateful for what you're given and never wish for more, hope for something else. In this world everything given is a luxury that we weren't born with and realisitcally we should be thankful for every good fortune that comes our way. There's alot of people out there that don't have the lifestyle that I do, but strongly desire it. I am living this lifestyle. I am a bartender with a selection of women to choose from who lives on the 7th floor of a brand new condo building in the heart of Downtown Calgary. My life could not be any better at this exact moment, and I'm extremely thankful for it. I'll commit to 1 hour a day of writing and the rest networking so I never lose my social skillset.
Looking back on the day this is how it was spent.
4:00 - Off work, headed to the gym.
4:30 to 6 - Worked out at the gym
6:00 to 7:00 - Headed home, bought shit for my place on the way home.
7:00 to 9:00 - Social networking
Which brings us to now. Today, right now, I am fuucking ripped. I love writing high though, my high is always so that it frees my mind. I just go, I dont think, I don't plan I just write. My fingers do most of the talking, realisitcally. I just sit back and enjoy the ride. What is the ride though, what are we living int oday. A society where everyone is antisocial, a state where it's bad to talk to strangers. Where everyone's a skeptic. But why, strangers are awesome? You say. But wait. Think of the only strangers that really talk to you in your everyday life. What are they talking to you for? Most of them come up with an alterior motive. They want to take some of your hard earned money, salesman, bums and girl guide scouts. No one normal comes up to you out of no where during the day just to say hi. What does this do? Conditions our mind that strangers are bad, that it's wrong to interact with people whom you have no social or work related connection. People that are outside of your network, who aren't in your current group of friends. What have you just done by making friends with that stranger and grabbing their number? You have just expanded your network. But no, not just your network. What about your best friend who you always invite along on your adventures? What have you done for him? Lets say you call your stranger. You guys talk for awhile, she really likes you. Stranger invites you to a party where all of her friends are gonna be at who you don't know yet. What have you just done for yourself? Expanded your network to everyone in that house party full of people you don't know. But what about your best friend? He always comes along with you. You've expanded his social circle too. How did all of this happen?
You talked to a stranger.
You went against the social norm, the unwritten law of our society that it's wrong to talk to strangers. Interact with everyone, everywhere you are. Even if there is nothing logically to be gained for yourself by talking to them, do it. If you cannot talk to the person sitting next to you on the train how will you talk to the girl you walked up to in a bar? If you can't hold a conversation with a co worker how can you hold a conversation with a stranger? This unwritten law that society has forced us to accept has kept us in our shell for too long, withholding the people we're supposed to be. Social butterflies, networking at every chance. Giving a sad stranger encouraging words, bidding an unknown human being "Good Morning," on your way out the door. Writing high is absolutely crazy. My motivation for the day was out the window until I chilled with Tina and Cam. Overall? My day was fantastic, I accomplished alot and got alot of shit done today. Productive shit, at work, after work, at the gym and on my way home. I left today with money in my pocket which I spent on good stuff. Overall Effective Time Management is on a roll, can't wait to start day 2.
Effective time management
November 8 / 10
It is currently 8:22 AM. I went to bed at 10:30PM, giving me, effectively, until 7:00 to sleep for my full 8 hours including the time it takes to go to sleep. I set my alarm for 7, but I snoozed until 8am 10 minutes at a time. Analyzing the situation logically I wasted an entire hour of my day in bed when I didn't really need the sleep. My goal for tomorrow morning will be to wake up when my alarm goes off giving me my full 8 hours of sleep.
8:45 - 9:30 = Spent getting to work
9:30 - 5:30 = Working, earning my dollas. Effectively I shouldn't be searching to get off until around 5pm. This way I will increase the amount of tips I'm making simply by being there longer.
5:30 - 6 = Changing, walking to train station, getting to Golds Gym
6:15 - 7:30 = Working out at Golds, Leg day today
7:30 - 8 = Getting changed, walking to the train station
Arrive home at 8:30, come back and reflect on my plan for the day.
Always be thankful for what you have, not searching for what you don't. Be grateful for what you're given and never wish for more, hope for something else. In this world everything given is a luxury that we weren't born with and realisitcally we should be thankful for every good fortune that comes our way. There's alot of people out there that don't have the lifestyle that I do, but strongly desire it. I am living this lifestyle. I am a bartender with a selection of women to choose from who lives on the 7th floor of a brand new condo building in the heart of Downtown Calgary. My life could not be any better at this exact moment, and I'm extremely thankful for it. I'll commit to 1 hour a day of writing and the rest networking so I never lose my social skillset.
Looking back on the day this is how it was spent.
4:00 - Off work, headed to the gym.
4:30 to 6 - Worked out at the gym
6:00 to 7:00 - Headed home, bought shit for my place on the way home.
7:00 to 9:00 - Social networking
Which brings us to now. Today, right now, I am fuucking ripped. I love writing high though, my high is always so that it frees my mind. I just go, I dont think, I don't plan I just write. My fingers do most of the talking, realisitcally. I just sit back and enjoy the ride. What is the ride though, what are we living int oday. A society where everyone is antisocial, a state where it's bad to talk to strangers. Where everyone's a skeptic. But why, strangers are awesome? You say. But wait. Think of the only strangers that really talk to you in your everyday life. What are they talking to you for? Most of them come up with an alterior motive. They want to take some of your hard earned money, salesman, bums and girl guide scouts. No one normal comes up to you out of no where during the day just to say hi. What does this do? Conditions our mind that strangers are bad, that it's wrong to interact with people whom you have no social or work related connection. People that are outside of your network, who aren't in your current group of friends. What have you just done by making friends with that stranger and grabbing their number? You have just expanded your network. But no, not just your network. What about your best friend who you always invite along on your adventures? What have you done for him? Lets say you call your stranger. You guys talk for awhile, she really likes you. Stranger invites you to a party where all of her friends are gonna be at who you don't know yet. What have you just done for yourself? Expanded your network to everyone in that house party full of people you don't know. But what about your best friend? He always comes along with you. You've expanded his social circle too. How did all of this happen?
You talked to a stranger.
You went against the social norm, the unwritten law of our society that it's wrong to talk to strangers. Interact with everyone, everywhere you are. Even if there is nothing logically to be gained for yourself by talking to them, do it. If you cannot talk to the person sitting next to you on the train how will you talk to the girl you walked up to in a bar? If you can't hold a conversation with a co worker how can you hold a conversation with a stranger? This unwritten law that society has forced us to accept has kept us in our shell for too long, withholding the people we're supposed to be. Social butterflies, networking at every chance. Giving a sad stranger encouraging words, bidding an unknown human being "Good Morning," on your way out the door. Writing high is absolutely crazy. My motivation for the day was out the window until I chilled with Tina and Cam. Overall? My day was fantastic, I accomplished alot and got alot of shit done today. Productive shit, at work, after work, at the gym and on my way home. I left today with money in my pocket which I spent on good stuff. Overall Effective Time Management is on a roll, can't wait to start day 2.
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