November 5 / 10

  "A bad wing will stand around at a club with you and talk to you about game. Why? Because it's comfortable. A good wing will push you into a set and on your way in tell you not to be a pussy." - Kevin Choo

        A couple weekends ago I went up to Edmonton with Cam Adair and Kevin Choo to their Edmonton seminar. In the seminar which had fantastic speakers whom I learned an insurmountable amount of information from which I got a fantastic lesson on winging. The lesson was this: The guy you go to the club with and stands there and talks to you about game ISN'T REALLY A GOOD WINGMAN! Here I thought he was. He's actually the worst kind of wingman there is, getting you to lose state, be nervous around girls and justify the reason for you not approaching is that you're talking about game. I took this lesson from Cam and Kevin home and seriously contemplated the message behind it. That, and I watched the entire season of The Pick Up Artist 2 (which was a sick learning curve, if you have it open on one side of the screen and take notes on the other side it's primo for in field reactions to openers, body language, routines) and learned a good lesson about when to que for a wing, how to walk into the set as a wing etc. So here we are on a Friday night.

         Cody and I get to the club around 10:30 to an expected realization that the place wasn't busy yet. We walk over to coat check and as I'm standing in line, Cody tells me that he doesnt want to put his coat away yet. I look over his shoulder and see a 4 set sitting down.

Brian: "Dude go open that."

Cody: "Fuck that man! We just got here, I need a drink first and they're all sitting down."

Brian: "Don't be a bitch. No excuses! Open!"

      I pushed him and he told me he fucking hated me as he started to walk over there to open the 4 set. I put my coat away, grab my ticket and look over my shoulder to see that he's successfully hooked the set and I decide it's my turn to walk over there and wing for my man.

Brian: "Yo man, have you seen Sarah?"

Cody: "No dude, haven't seen her. Oh! You've gotta meet these girls, they're actually pretty cool."

     Formal introductions were made and I managed to get a Michelle out of Richelle, repeated Michelle back to her and she said:

"No! It's Richelle!"

"Richelle with an "R" for Retard. Got it."

       This hooked the set for me as they all burst out laughing and we moved along with introductions. We asked them why they were all sitting down and not dancing and they told us that they just got there and the dance floor wasn't very busy yet. We teased them on being the creepy girls that sit in the corner and stare at people and they tried to tease us back for not having any friends in the club. We vibed really well with these girls and ended up asking them all to come dance. In retrospect I had won over the obstacles but Cody hadn't selected his target, I had already selected mine and ran my target game on her. I should have isolated my target once I had won her and her friends over but instead I lead the entire group to the dance floor and told them we should go party. I held out my hand behind me as I lead through the club and my target complied and grabbed it and we walked to the dance floor. We were all dancing together and I decided that this was my moment to isolate. I told her friends that I was stealing her and that I promised I would bring her back. I took her over to the side of the dance floor and confessed how I thought she was really cute, and even though she talked too much that she was easily the coolest girl I had met tonight and that I had to grab her number before I got back to my friends. She easily agreed and I handed my phone to her to save her name as something cool. She saved her first name and told me that she couldn't think of anything cool on the spot. I didn't do any frame control here setting up the first date or the first text and there's a couple of things that I know I should have done for this set. 1) is that I should have set up the meeting before getting the number. ie. "you guys should come party after the club shuts down. give me your number and i'll call you after we're done here" (my goal has become to pull that night) and 2) I should have set the frame for her to fully comply and validate herself to my texts by saying something like "I'll text you, but are you as cool over text as you are in person?" Nonetheless, it wasn't the best pick-up but it got the job done. I texted her after the club and said "Had a good time talking, get home safe. - B" and she responded right away. I'm golden, but I could have handled the situation better for sure.

        Best and worst set analyzed is my goal for these field reports, writing each individual set is almost impossible unless I'm taking notes the entire night, which I wasn't. Hb9's are the worst set I did all night, however I'm slowly conditioning myself to approach them which is always a good thing. I walked up neglecting any of the material I had planned and practiced all night and opened up with:

Brian: "Hey guys. Having a good night?"

At this point HB9 looked at me like she'd look at every other guy she would look at coming up to her assuming hes hitting on her (which, by my body language, tonality and lack of material for the situation was fitting).

HB9: "Its good."

Now, I was nervous, ran out of things to say and decided to lie on the spot. This lie wasn't intentional, I was just nervous and it happened to come out. I know now that I need to be alot more cool, calm and collected in situations such as this and just be myself.

Brian: "I'm new in Calgary and I'm out meeting new people. My name's Brian."

            This line moderately hooked them as I had one of  the HB9's reach in and grab my hand and tell me her name was Lindsey. Her friend reciprocated and did the same, grabbed my hand and told me her name was Ana. I then ran out of cool shit to say and looked awkwardly over at the cockblock loser that was standing there and held out my hand to introduce myself to him. They standed there for a split second waiting for me to re - engage them with interesting conversation and in this moment I froze, didn't have anything cool to say. At this point their body language shifted as HB9 moved to slightly box me out of the set. Feeling the unsettling notion of defeat I walked away with my head held high from the learning experience. Now, I've never been to a bootcamp and I've never taken classes from everyone and I'm a firm believer in the fact that the people around you influence your life and the direction it takes. I do however also have a strong belief in the fact that I can fix and / or analyze any problem placed in front of me and find a proper solution for the certain situation. In this certain situation I have a problem approaching 9's and 10's with the same game I run on every other girl THAT WORKS and I believe its because I don't use the game that I've catered to work over the past few years of my life on the HB9's and 10's. Personally, I believe it's because since I've started in this community it's heavily advertized that HB9's and 10's are different to approach than the average girl. I think I've taken this to the extreme and completely forgotten everything I know about the game and it's concepts every time I'm in a cold set with an HB9 or 10. I've talked to alot of guys that are really good with HB9's and 10's and they all tell me almost the exact same thing; that it's the unshaken charisma they have around them that draws the women to the guy.  It's the fact that they treat the woman the same as they would treat any of their average, everyday friends. They're the same guy to the HB9 they meet in the bar as they are to their best friends when they go home and chill with them. The men don't put the women on a pedestal, or treat them any different because of their beauty. This seems to be the characteristic that these beautiful women look for; a man who is on their level. I can recall all of my recent sets where I've been in with a beautiful woman and start to make exceptions about my own reality, change or twist a belief for a minute for her approval. This, I think delves even deeper into my own frame and the need to develop a strong frame, an unshaken charisma about me. I see more and more of it in myself every day as I start to associate myself with people of that caliber; Cam, Brian Orr, Kevin Choo, the owner of my Bar. The thing I start to notice about these men is the way in which they take over a social interaction by demanding attention with their unfaltering belief in not only themselves but everything they say, making anyone who comes in contact with them also do the same. This kind of charisma, however, can not be taught. It is one of those things where the people around you influence your life but it is up to YOU to make the change.

            Ultimately, influence can only go so far. It is the ability to have the motivation to decide that you will make the change in yourself, that you will develop a lifestyle where you're able to completely believe in yourself and everything you say because you really do. The men who surround my new lifestyle these days are leaders, have extremely strong frames and have taught me alot of the person I am destined to become. This is just another typical Sunday afternoon and another step on the glorious journey to become that person I was meant to be.